I’m sure by now that all of you have heard of the “Ice Bucket Challenge.” It was started as a fund-raiser “dare” for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) Disease and it has gone viral.
In case you missed it, the idea is you either write a check for one hundred dollars to the charity to help them find a cure for this terrible scourge- or you would get doused in a bucket of ice cold water.
And then you challenged more people to give or freeze within twenty-four hours.
Celebrities like Taylor Swift, Conan, Anna Wintour, Jimmy Fallon, Iggy Azalea, Lady Gaga, LeBron James and Justin Timberlake have all glommed on.
And I just saw former President George W. Bush and drippy Laura (pretend) to do it. He clumsily pretended that he was going to pony up and give a donation and she pretended to sneak up on him and let him have it with a bucket filled with freezing water.
Lame.
But some were cute- like Chris Pratt’s from Parks and Recreation. And some were clever- like Dave Grohl’s (of The Foo Fighters) tribute to Carrie. And some were self-deprecating- like Bill Gates’ nerdy drawing board endeavor.
One challenge, however, stands out for me. My heartthrob, Benedict Cumberbatch, really upped the ante here.
But it’s a great cause- even if some wooden ex POTUS’s and FLOTUS’s hoke it up. And the campaign has already raised more than thirty-one million dollars so far.
Meanwhile, I had an ice bucket incident recently. A bone-chilling dowsing in the freezing cold water of reality.
I was idly speculating with a friend about the current state of my love life. Dreary though it is, I am ever hopeful that one day, I’ll meet a great guy who will love me- with all my flaws. And he’ll want to spend the rest of his life with me.
I like happy endings. Especially my own.
But my gal pal was of a different mindset.
Let’s eavesdrop on the conversation, shall we? And let’s call her Debbie.
Roll tape.
Me (with a sigh): Whenever I go for a walk in the park on Sundays, I see couples every where I look. Happy couples out together- with dogs and babies. It makes me feel so alone. Like one of those sad, bitter women in Jerry Maguire’s divorce support group. Sometimes, I think I’ll never find anyone again. And yet…you know, I can’t help hoping that things are going to turn out alright for me. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to get married one last time and live happily ever after.
Debbie (deadly serious): Nope. No way. Never going to happen.
Me (startled): Really? Golly, I hope not. What makes you say that?
Debbie: Well, look. You’re OLD. Take Wanda, my dental hygienist, for instance. She’s thirty-seven and grateful to be finally dating a guy. She told me that he’s fifty-four. Now why would a guy that age take you out when he could date a thirty-seven year old? And look at your track record. You are the worst marital risk I know. Give it up, Ellen. Forget about it. You ain’t never going to find anyone crazy enough to take you on.
Me: Well, you’re right about the precedent. All the female movie stars who married a lot- Elizabeth Taylor, Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth, Ava Gardner- they all died alone. They kept discarding guys like kleenex and then one day, they woke up and found their looks gone and the men all dried up.
Debbie: See? That’s exactly what I mean. The statistics…
Me: But the statistics said that I never should have re-married after Bill and I did. I was old then and yet I still managed to do it. Twice.
Debbie (matter-of-factly): I’m sorry. You’re just going to have to face the facts. You’re through.
Me (plaintively): Oh, I don’t want to believe that. Alone for the rest of my life? That seems so harsh.
Debbie (firmly): The sooner you accept it the better. Get over yourself. You are destined for Stouffer’s frozen dinners for one. Forever. Buy a cat.
I went to bed that night feeling awfully gloomy. Would my side of the double bed be empty for eternity? This was just too sad for words.
But I woke up the next morning to this. Take a look.
Wasn’t that just fabulous? So heart-warming and wonderful. It lifted my spirits and restored my faith.
Here’s to love.
And please donate to ALS. Let’s finally find a cure.
(I told you I like happy endings.)
Well Ellen, you’ve really upped the ante with this post, moving smoothly and with no short supply of humor from the Pride of the Yankees to the disease that has yet to conquer Stephen Hawking to the ex-POTUS who once signed off on waterboarding (ironic, isn’t it?) to your favorite actor who will soon play Alan Turing in a major motion picture to your own love life (or lack thereof) to a smoothly orchestrated flash mob masquerading as a marriage proposal to a plea for happy endings in general and for an ALS cure in specific … while I’ve spent the past two and a half hours pondering on how best to contribute to this conversation.
I rejected a “bucket list” joke (too obvious), and wondered whether hawking (sic) some of my crossword puzzles might be construed by you as being frivolous, opportunistic, or both. So let me get serious.
A mature, civilized society should take care of its ill, so that no family should be financially wiped out because of a genetic roll of the dice, nor should they feel compelled to take on personalized fund-raising as their only chance to effect progress in developing and implementing necessary treatments. Those afflicted with a disease should be able to continue to live with comfort and dignity. A government, led by forward-looking public servants from both sides of the aisle and supported by the tax base from a well-informed citizenry, must invest in basic research that addresses the underlying causes of disease (and even before that, provides the paradigm-shifting experimental tools to do so), as well as in the translational research that leads to cures across the entire health gamut irrespective of the business incentive whereby the pharmaceutical companies focus on chronic diseases that affect the more affluent (because that’s where the profit is). A major focus, whenever possible (it does not appear to be so for ALS, unfortunately) of an enlightened health policy should be prevention, including educating the population about responsible life-style choices.
Now if you will indulge me, I get off my soap-box and invite you and your readers to try Horse Power, or skip it entirely and go straight to the “midrash.” Notice that the puzzle, commemorating a very significant 75th sports anniversary, is not by me, but by my crossword cyberfriend Tim Croce, and that the midrash is by my Minnesota neighbor and friend Steve Bachman.
Click on Steve’s link (end of above paragraph), and you will learn that he has ALS. Yet rather than wallow in self-pity, Steve goes to his daughters’ weddings, avidly follows sports, is an active presence on Facebook [it was through Steve that I first encountered the ice-bucket challenge, several weeks before it went viral], and yes, even solves, constructs, and writes about crossword puzzles. I will report back later today on an incredibly timely puzzle that Steve and I have written together. And yes, Steve, my parents of beloved memory devoted their entire research careers to the understanding and eventual eradication of neuromuscular disease, and my brother and I have made several inventions, separately and together, supported by generous government funding, that bring us closer to the cure that you so much want and deserve.
Oy, George! The thought, energy and links that went into this comment! Next Thursday, you write the post. I’ll run your lab.
Geez, Ellen, you need to make your captchas harder. x-1 = 1 is not the hardest bit of algebra I’ve ever done.
As promised, my puzzle with Steve Bachman is ready to look at. Check out: http://tinyurl.com/lonelinesspuz The “midrash” isn’t quite done, but feel free to have a sneak preview. You’ll find that we address many of the same issues from Ellen’s remarkable (and remarkably popular) blogpost of 22 hours ago.
That math problem is just my speed. I’ll check it out now. OMG! Just saw Phil and Don. I LOVE them. Thanks, Doc.
From the movie “Father’s Day”
Billy Crystal: You’re a tragic hero. You’re Lou Gehrig.
Robin Williams: Who?
Billy Crystal: Lou Gehrig. Everybody knows Lou Gehrig. The baseball player. He died of Lou Gehrig’s Disease.
Robin Williams: Wow, what are the odds on that?
Just goes to show if a guy named Lou Gehrig can “catch” Lou Gehrig’s Disease – you can catch a husband!
Very nice, Doc! I feel better about my prospects already. And seriously, RIP to the great RW. Irreplaceable.
Hi Ellen, From someone whose father-in-law was a victim of ALS, I find it very disturbing that this has somehow turned into to something comical..It was the worst thing ever to witness a brilliant and a sweetheart of man succumb to the horrendous effects of ALS..When I see parents of little kids making a joke of the whole ice bucket challenge on Facebook, I wonder how many of them actually sit down with these kids to discuss the value of donating money to any charity for research of deadly diseases and if they ACTUALLY write the check……or if this was this all an exercise in grandstanding to see who could out- do the other person’s performance…You know me, I find humor in almost anything but there is nothing funny about this.. This commentary has nothing to do with you but about what this whole thing has become..I am, however, happy for the millions it has raised..and btw, I loved George W’s segment..So where is Obama?
On a more optimistic note, I have confidence in that your Prince Charming will come your way..He is around the corner but you don’t know it yet, if he will only get off his Barcalounger:)…..You are funny, charming, and a classy woman. He is out there..Have no fear…You will out-do Liz and Ava for sure……
Thank you for this comment, Diane. I understand why you find the campaign a stunt, and yet the money and the awareness it has raised can not be ignored. I’ve checked with the ALS Foundation and they are thrilled that this has caught fire. Let’s hope the end justifies the means. This disease has NO survivors. Surely scientists must want to rise to that challenge.
As for the encouraging words re my future romantic hopes-bless you.
Dear Ellen,
I woke up this morning and did not expect to be crying by 9 a.m.
I plan to forward this on.
Your writing gift is going to find you the next special someone. I believe you can do it.
After reading George’s wonderful comments, I’ll stop here and go visit “midrash”.
H
Thank you, friend. You’ve made us both very happy.
Three, if you count Steve Bachman.
Let him know, ok, George? If it wasn’t for the part about my love life, I would have told you to forward the post on. He’s got enough aggravation!
I’ll let Steve know when we communicate later today to finalize the midrash on that fabulous and timely puzzle that I promised in my first comment of the day. Stay tuned …
Meanwhile, for two more of Steve’s puzzles, see Escalation and Papa Go Seek. Each has a “midrash” of its own, for those who want to get straight to the punchline.
Thanks, Puzzle Master.
Every day is new, filled with mystery and outcomes that no one can foresee. “Never” and “impossible” are words without meaning. You should embrace each day, filled with the joy of just being, and confident that while you may not get everything you want that day, it’s also possible, on that day and every day, that you may.
-Kahlil John
PS, some downer friend you have.
That’s why I named her “Debbie”! Thanks, guru. I’ll will try to chant this mantra every night as I am “sleepin’ single in a double bed.”
Ellen,
It could be worse. You could be “sleepin’ single in a king size bed”!!
Now why didn’t I think of that? You’re right, Bernie.
Ok Ellen who really wrote the following you or Coco?
It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him. … I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman, I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.”
― Coco Chanel
And when she had the chance to marry Bend’Or, the fabulously wealthy Duke of Westminster, she turned him down. “There have been other duchesses of Westminster,” she explained. “There is only one Chanel.”