Spoiler Alert: If you are not familiar with this movie’s plot, you’d better skip this post.
But come on! Maybe you didn’t catch the 1937 Janet Gaynor/Fredric March version.
Or maybe you missed the 1954 classic Judy Garland/James Mason edition.
But surely you caught the overblown 1976 Barbra Streisand/Kris Kristofferson iteration.
On second thought, if you missed all three of these, you probably deserve to know what happens in the current Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper re-telling.
In any case, I shall be brief. The movie’s plot- although now focussing on the music scene à la the ’76 version rather than on the Hollywood scene of the earlier versions- is pretty much the same.
Fading older star (B.C.) brings highly-talented newcomer (L.G.) aboard to share his stage- and then his bed. And then his life.
Bad stuff- drugs, booze, pills, public humiliation- happens to him. Good stuff- high-powered agent, make-over, fly back-up dancers- happens to her.
Supportive BFF’s weigh in on their respective life/career journeys. Sam Elliott and a woefully-underused Dave Chappelle for him. Anthony Ramos and a very good (and unrecognizable) Andrew Dice Clay for her.
Bottom Line Movie Revue: Bradley Cooper (who also directed) is a HUNK.
Those turquoise peepers! That fabulous physique, that raspy voice, his on-stage charisma. He is an irresistible magnet to the eye.
Lady G? Sorry, Dear Readers. I have to go rogue now.
Talented? Certainly. Pipes amazing? You bet. Singing chops for days. Her acting ability? Serviceable. Believable. An inspired casting choice. Beyoncé was originally attached to this project and when she failed to pan out, Lady Gaga stepped in.
But- and I’m putting on my flak jacket as I type this, I found her so homely that I couldn’t bear to look at her.
Bradley Cooper disagrees with me. He went to great directing lengths to show her in all her personal glory.
I wasn’t ready for her close-ups, Mr. DeMille.
Yes, yes, I realize that now is not the politically-correct time to call out another woman for her looks.
But I grew up in the era of Monroe and Loren, Hepburn (both of them) Ava Garner, Natalie Wood, Grace Kelly and Vivien Leigh.
Gloria Swanson had it EXACTLY right.
In summation, let me say that I like the concert scenes but I never bought the love story. I just couldn’t believe that Jackson Maine could/would ever fall for a drab little wren like Ally.
Lady Gaga. Don’t hate me because you’re not beautiful.
But Bradley, in case you’re reading this…
You can pass out on my couch any time.
Nobody touching this one…Ha!
Your guess is as good as mine, my friend.