Adventures in Paradise

The news of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s recent nuptials and honeymoon got me reminiscing about the voyage that Mike and I made to French Polynesia.

What a trip.

Coming from Aspen, we caught up with the Air Tahiti Nui tour jet in Los Angeles.  From there it was an eight hour forty-three minute flight to Papeete, Tahiti.

Tahiti, as you may know, is the largest of the Windward Islands in French Polynesia.  Doesn’t that sound scenic and romantic?

It is.  Tahiti was formed from volcanic activity and it’s surrounded by magnificent coral reefs.

Sadly, I can not tell you my first impressions of this tropic Eden.  I was so blown away from the four flight jet lag- Aspen-Denver-Los Angeles-Tahiti- that I was barely conscious as Mike gently guided me up the cruise ship’s gangplank for the check in.

I passed out in the cabin and when I awoke the next day we were already underway cruising towards beautiful Moorea.

Welcome to Bali Hai.  Only ten nautical miles from Tahiti, James Michener was inspired by Moorea’s haunting beauty to capture it in his Tales Of the South Pacific.

See all the shades of blue? I have never seen so many different colors of blue- from navy to the palest powder blue- in all my life.  You couldn’t tell where the ocean began and the sky left off.

It was magical.

If you can’t book a trip now, close your eyes and let Juanita Hall take you there.

Let me say now- for those of you who might want to go- that we went in April (after Mike’s ski season) and it was HOT.  Torrid, humid, BLASTING wet heat.  A brick wall of inferno-like temperatures would hit you the moment you left the air-conditioned ship.

I couldn’t take much of it.  Mike was made of sterner stuff*** and he would bike around the island and jump into the water every now and then to cool off.

***Two tours in Viet Nam had put him on speaking terms with the jungle.  And, as he pointed out, on this trip, at least no one was shooting at his helicopter.

But I wilted in about five minutes.

(My hair, on the other hand, expanded.  It got so big that it needed a cabin of its own.)

Take note: The humid season there runs from November to April so I do suggest- as a safety tip- that you pick another time of the year to go.

A word about cruising here.  The islands are small and all ringed with atolls.  This means that you need to get around on either a small ship or a small plane.  But the seas here are calm- think bathtub- and even though I am prone to mal de mer, I never once experienced a ripple that made me reach for the Dramamine.

Two other glorious things about French Polynesia?  It smells like vanilla and all the natives speak French.  This was a heavenly combination of scent and sound, and for me, it beat any other island venue all hollow.

It’s also untouched.  Not cluttered up with ugly reminders of the twenty-first century.  It is emphatically not Hawaii.  You get to see exactly what Captain Cook saw when his Endeavour landed in Tahiti on April 13, 1769.  (I bet it was humid!)

Our little ship then made its way to Raiatea.

After Tahiti, Raiatea is the second-largest of the Society Islands. The first European to record sighting it was Pedro Fernandez de Quirós in 1606.

Here’s what he saw.  And we did, too.

Okay, maybe the huts weren’t quite that nifty in 1606 but it’s still unbelievably pristine.  Time has stood still there.

Last, but certainement not least, was our final stop.

Bora Bora.

This is the hot spot that Jen and Justin chose so they could honeymoon away from the prying eyes of the paps.

(Although they did have pals Justin Bateman, his wife Amanda Anka and Courtney Cox- along with their kids- tagging along for the outrigger ride.  And rumor has it that Chelsea Handler showed up, too.)

Rumor also has it that Jen and Justin paid $84,00 for their swanky honeymoon villa at the Four Seasons.

And it’s also been reported that they shelled out $248,000 to charter a G5 jet from Van Nuys Airport to BB.

Sweet.  But even if you don’t have Friends money you can do pretty much the same things.  Scuba, snorkel, or watch the marine life from the comfort of your very own glass-bottomed villa.

Or you can jet ski, jeep safari, aqua safari (go for a walk underwater with an air-supplied helmet) aquabike, parasail, fish- blue marlin, yellow fin tuna, mahi-mahi and barracuda are the catch of the day in these waters- or laze around and play in the sand like Jen and Justin.

(Sorry about the grainy quality of the photograph.  Who knows how far away the paparazzo was when he “stole” this shot?)

Sigh.

I hope you enjoyed this petit travelogue.  I had to write it now before the weather turns ugly here.  Once winter hits, I won’t have the heart to think about this enchanted place.

Now watch a different trip to paradise while you ponder calling your travel agent.

Bon Voyage!

(Oh, and congrats and bonne chance, Jen and Justin.)