In case you can’t figure it out, that’s yours truly in the middle, Natasha Ross Tofias on the left and Nick Ross on the right. This photograph was taken Friday night at EJ’s Place by our dear friend Lili Ann Zisook.
We were celebrating Mother’s Day. Yeah, on Friday. Not today.
The kids- plus their spouses Zach and Missy- had come in from Boston and Seattle for the May seventh memorial service for my dad.
(Zach and Missy were not in this photo because at this very moment, they were making their way to the bar. The check had been paid at our promised table, but the people were taking their own sweet time about vacating. “Drinks on the house” was the reward for our patience.)
It’s been a long time since both my kids have been in Chicago at the same time. And it was a terrific, fun-filled, couple of days. A whirlwind of kissing, hugging, smiling, long-lost cousins and friends to see, baby Sam to show off and lots of eating.
Natasha and Company were going back on Saturday, and Nick and Missy were heading west early Sunday morning. So if I wanted a Mother’s Day dinner, it was going to have to be on Friday night.
So be it.
Nick worked all day Friday. Then Missy stopped by his office for a brief post-work company party.
Then they picked me up and we met Natasha and Zach at the restaurant.
(Sam was being babysat by five woman. Patti and Amy- Natasha’s sisters- and three of their teenage kids- Sam’s cousins. Nice ratio. I felt pretty sure he was in good hands.)
We had a delicious dinner and a swell time. Missy and Natasha gabbed away about who-knows-what. (The joint was jumpin’ and NOISY.) Nick, Zach and I talked politics, the earthquake in Nepal, the Germanwings disaster, the mismanagement of relief dollars to Haiti, Jay Z versus Kanye, and the Patriots versus the Seahawks. (We’re all on the same page about Deflate Gate. We don’t care. Tom Brady is the man.)
But then Nick uttered a remark that really made me laugh- and think.
“I’m sorry I’m so under-dressed tonight. I came straight from work.”
Zach- nattily attired in a sport jacket- got the irony of this.
Nick is in a business (he makes apps for mobile) where he basically never has to don a tie.
Once in a blue moon- if he has a meeting with a client that demands it- he’ll put one on. But for the most part, jeans and a shirt are de rigeur office attire.
It’s just one of the neat things he loves about his job.
And his industry.
It’s a young industry. Pretty much everyone in it is young.
Nick, at thirty-five, is the oldest guy in the firm. Think about that.
His remark brought back memories of Nick’s father, Bill, instituting a “Casual Friday” dress policy at his business back in the day.
It lasted a couple of months, and then he rescinded it.
I asked him why.
“The productivity and attitudes get lazy when everyone is wearing jeans. They’re just not taking the work seriously. They get sloppy. Nope, it’s back to suit and tie. No more Casual Friday at our office.”
Nick (and Natasha) had gone to boarding school- St. George’s in Newport, Rhode Island. It had a dress code. Jacket and tie for boys. Dressy slacks, or dresses and skirts for girls.
Natasha liked it. Both sexes looked so preppy and attractive.
Nick hated it. He was always trying to guy the system.
He eschewed all the handsome Brooks Brothers and J. Press duds with which we had outfitted him, and headed straight to the resale shop at the very first opportunity.
He jettisoned his club and rep ties in favor a of a hideous Donald Duck one- which he knotted and slipped over his head every single day.
He came back to me in Colorado with a good education- and a severe allergy to ties.
Now to be fair, Nick is fine with wearing a suit and tie when the occasion demands it. He’s a grown-up who understands the politesse of the dress code.
But the fact that the tech industry is made up of whiz kids and tech nerds who are wired-in most of the time and not posing for the cover of GQ, made it immensely attractive to my son.
For Nick, every day is Casual Friday.
I sure liked our last one.
And that’s not a casual remark.
Happy Mother’s Day, Dear Readers. Tie or no tie, I wish you all a wonderful celebration.
Now, take a look at something Nick will never have to do.
I chose it as a Mother’s Day gift to myself.
Happy Mother’s Day, Ellen! So pleased that you could spend it with both your adult “kids.”
Hard to recognize Richard Gere without the silvery hair, but then again, that was 35 years ago.
I can still remember the time my mother gave me two ties as birthday presents. I immediately put one of them on, and she asked, “What’s the matter, don’t you like the other one?”
Nice one, Doc. But I thought you mother was a famous scientist, not a stand up comedian. And I met Richard Gere once. In person he didn’t look real. Like a living human Armani poster. Sigh. Happy Mother’s Day to your family, too.
My mother, of blessed memory, could do it all, though I don’t think she was a huge fan of Richard Gere. Before Nick leaves town, ask him to come up with more challenging captcha’s.
Leave my captchas alone. Just cause you’re a math whiz doesn’t mean everyone else is. Personally, I find them challenging.
Ellen — Happy Mother’s Day. It was nice to see a picture of you and your children but I really cannot believe that you left the beautiful Lauren Hutton and her fabulous tooth gap out of your “American Gigolo” clip. As I remember it, SHE was the star of that film.
Apparently you and I just have a different eye when it comes to film stars.
As for the captchas, they’re fine. I do use a calculator to check my numbers, though. Enjoy the day — maybe Sam will make dinner — or something!!
Thanks, Jack. And yes, I understand completely. Lauren Hutton was fabulous, and I’m not surprised that she featured prominently in your recollection of this movie. (And thanks for the calculator tip. Good call.)
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY E. Glad you got to celebrate with your kids. As far as ties go. I would like to personally clock whoever decided men should wear these damn things. I had to wear one for years, but thankfully for the last 10 years my work does not require me to wear one….it is a godsend especially since I live in Tucson….imagine wearing the damn thing in 105 degrees. Okay enough about my tie rant…again, have a great Mother’s Day Ellen!
This made me laugh, Steve. Nick always used to say that when he ever found the guy who invented “preppy,” he was going to kill him!” Well, I guess living well is the best revenge, and Nick really enjoys the no dress code at his office. Thanks for your good wishes. And please send some of that warm weather this way. Cold and dreary here today.