Rabbi Ben Ezra
That’s Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn in the opening photo, Dear Readers. Two legendary actors who were known for the length of their personal partnership- they were married over fifty years- as well as their theatrical and movie triumphs.
I’ve been thinking about them lately because for over a year now, I have been in a serious romantic relationship.
But “gray dating” is not a picnic- no matter how much you like the guy. It’s filled with traps and pitfalls and it takes a real dedication- and a sense of humor- to make it go smoothly.
Sure, Age has its privileges.
There are “old people” prices at the movies, senior discounts on the train, and The Boyfriend would be lost without his “senior coffee” every morning.
But in the main, I have come to the conclusion that dating belongs to teenagers and us old folks should leave it strictly alone.
Take dining out, for example.
When I was at New Trier, fine dining consisted of a Tonelli’s pizza, a burger at Booby’s, some lasagna at Washington Gardens or the onion loaf at Hackney’s.
(If I was really lucky, the guy would go all out and we’d head into Chicago for a Due’s deep dish pizza. That was the Big Time.)
Nowadays, any place we go requires a great deal of discussion ahead of time and thorough vetting of the menu.
It’s not that I’m so fussy.
It’s just that these days, I am dealing with the reality of…
Heartburn.
That’s me. If I’m not eating bland, blah nursery food, I pay a huge price when I go to lay down.
Rather than live on Tums, I just automatically nix old favorites like Mexican, and tapas, and anything with raw onions, and tomato sauce and fried anything and…
You get the idea. These days, I’m a real drag at the dinner table.
But I’m not the only one who can get thrown by a restaurant.
If it’s noisy, TBF has troubles of his own.
You should have seen us at the theater a couple of weeks ago. It was an Abbot and Costello routine.
I couldn’t read the seat numbers on the emailed movie tickets and so…
ME: What row are we in?
TBF: Huh?
ME: What row are we in?
TBF: What?
Me: (shouting) What row are we in? D?
TBF: B?
ME: No! D!
TBF: No, not B. We’re in D.
ME: That’s what I said. D.
TBF: No. We’re not in B. We’re in D.
Me: Oh, God.
(Not to mention that my doctor has just put popcorn and peanuts on the “No Fly” list for me. Talk about a drag.)
Then there is the baggage.
(In my case, Vuitton, of course.)
Back in the day, I only had to care if my current beau’s parents liked me. (And his friends, of course.)
But dating these days involves approval not only from the children…
But the grandchildren.
And grandchildren these days are so busy.
There’s hockey and Little League and ballet and track and field and jazz dance and Halloween parades and Christmas Concerts and the American Girl Doll Store to visit…
Hold up.
I got a real kick out of my first ever American Girl Doll luncheon and shopping trip.
I was amazed at the swag they had in there.
(And the prices! OMG. I pity the poor parents and grandparents who have to pay the freight on the rent of that prime real estate on Michigan Avenue in the Water Tower.)
But even though I was never big on dolls and their accessories, as I wandered around in shock and awe gaping at the loot they offered today’s little American Girl, I did stumble upon something I wanted.
Look at this locker! Isn’t it sharp?
I want that.
Luckily, his grandkids seem to think I’m okay.
And my granddaughter Carly is in love with him! She took one look at him at her birthday party and toddled right over and extended her tiny finger. He reached (all the way) down- she comes up to his ankle- and took it.
They strolled off hand in hand and now I have a problem.
My granddaughter is in love with my boyfriend!
And vice versa.
But, at the end of the day- and at The End Of The Day- these minor inconveniences and adjustments are no big deal.
It’s nice to have a special someone with whom to share Life.
A burger tastes so much better when it’s shared.
(Even if I’m learning to like them with just mayo, onions and pickle.)
And it’s been a great two seasons to be a Pittsburgh Penguins fan.
Go Pens.
I guess you can teach an old gal new tricks.
Worth it.
Just ask Hume and Jessica.
Very Sweet Ellen – I’m so happy to hear about your relationship. And I didn’t know that New Trierites loved Pizza Due (and I assume Uno) as much as we Little Giants.
As always, I appreciate you openly sharing in your amazingly humorous way about life. The thought that came to me about the challenges you face in relationship now is that while there are many, weren’t their equally challenging issues you had to deal with in relationship before?
I have some catching up to do with your posts as I’m just recovering from my son Adam’s Bar Mitzvah.
First of all- and most importantly- Mazel Tov on Adam’s Bar Mitzvah. A real milestone. Second, I heard your aunt Joan had a fabulous time at her Minneapolis family reunion. And third, No. All my past relationships have been perfect and stress-free. Thanks, Terry. 🤥
Thanks Ellen. Very Cute. Joan was a rock star at the Bar Mitzvah, including lighting the Sabbath candles, passing the Torah from generation to generation and not getting washed away as our party bus seemed to flood from the rain.
And I’m delighted to hear there’s someone who has a perfect, stress-free relationship (was that with one of your dogs?)! Maybe it’s time to be a relationship coach.
I AM a relationship coach, Terry. But do as I say- not as I do. 😊
Ha! Ellen u forgot dining at Fanny’s! Otherwise spot on observations:) in case u don’t remember- I won the chocolate chip cookies and your boyfriend lives in Geneva and his children and mine knew each other back in the day (as I think I recall anyway !) always love reading your adventures 🙂
Betsy, you’re so right. I did forget Fanny’s but here it is. https://www.letterfromelba.com/a-bottle-of-red-a-bottle-of-white/
And how could I forget anyone as pretty and savvy about cookie baking as you? Thanks so much and see you at Swedish Days! 😊
Being alter cockers ain’t easy but worth the payoff
Welcome to the world of significant other life
Keep having a ball
Luv ya
Yes, senior dating is challenging. Our idea of excitement was when the new Mariano’s opened! That was a trip that blew our collective minds. Very different from the 60’s. And thanks, Jess. Ain’t nothing old about you. 😊
I think it’s about time to bring the TBF to one of lunches and introduce him to us. I’m sure you’ll get 3 thumbs up👍👍👍
I’m ok with that, Mitch. He’s very brave. 🙏🍺🍺🍺