Guilty Pleasure

In the Sunday February 4 edition of The New York Times travel section there was a piece entitled “There’s an Art to Ordering Room Service.”

ICYMI: The column by Shivani Vora was filled with helpful and commonsense tips courtesy of Martyn Nail, executive chef of London’s famously elegant Claridge’s hotel.

Some tips I have practiced.

Don’t order a soufflé.  It will be a pancake by the time it reaches you.

Stay simple.  A club sandwich or a Caesar salad are pretty hard to louse up.

Many foods arrive lukewarm after their long trip from the hotel kitchen.  Even in a hot box.  Soup, on the other hand, usually stays hot.

Order through a live person rather by in-room television or tablet.  (Your order taker can give you suggestions and may offer some options not included on the menu.)

I have practiced many of these handy room service tips.

Others I had not.

Mr. Nail suggested ordering course by course, for instance.  Never tried that one.

But one thing is for certain.

I ADORE room service. I am an enthusiastic practitioner of the art of ordering in-room dining.

It all started in 1969 on my honeymoon in at the famed Plaza Hotel in New York City.

Room service, I mean.

(Up to that point, my parents never let us call for food on the family trips.)

I shall never forget that thrilling first time.

Room service, I still mean.

My groom and I perused the menu and came up with a hamburger for me (duh) and a club sandwich for him.

       

I don’t recall how they tasted but I will never forget the tab.

$17.

Nor will I forget the gut-wrenching scream that came out of my brand-new twenty year old spouse.

“$17!  WHAT!!!!!  For a burger and a club sandwich!  That’s outrageous!  They have to be kidding!”***  

***Inflation Notification:  Just for the fun of it, Dear Readers, I looked up the exact same items on the current room service menu at the Plaza.  The hamburger is now $30, the turkey and avocado club is $24, there is an $8 delivery charge and 19% service tax.  That same meal now comes to $71.  Interesting how the digits are reversed.

But I was unmoved by his anguish.  I had discovered something at the Plaza Hotel and would never be the same.

I was in love.

It doesn’t matter if I’m in a dump or a five star hotel.  The very first thing I do- after unpacking- is check out the room service menu.

Here are a few of my highlights in hotel dining.

Let’s start close to home in Chicago.

The Ritz-Carlton and the Four Seasons.

I’ve written before about how we had to live at the Ritz for months after a devastating house fire.  All I can say is that the room service there was delightful.  The frock-coated waiters felt sorry for us and were so accommodating.  They thoroughly spoiled my six year old son, Nick.

(And the rest of us.  What a luxury to be able to order four different entrees.)

As for the Four Seasons, I had occasion to live there during the unhappy time of my trial.  I had originally stayed at the cheaper-but-nearer-to-the-courthouse Allegro Hotel but after four years as the trial dragged on and on, I desperately needed a change of scenery.

Hence the pricey- but lovely- Four Seasons.

Room Service became my best friend.  And after a horrible day in court (is there any other kind?) or a trip to the suburbs, I would call them and order literally anything I felt like eating that night and tell them exactly what time I was arriving and wanted the food to be delivered.

I was encouraged to think outside the hotbox and it was a true foodie’s delight dreaming up anything my little broken heart desired.

We’ve discussed the East Coast. Now let’s take a trip to the Left Coast.

The Beverly Hills Hotel.

They had the GREATEST room service menu and when I really wanted to feel pampered, I’d head out there just to order it a couple of times.

Now, in a nod to the chef at Claridge’s who led off this post, let’s wing across the pond to a bastion of impeccable, delicious room service.

London’s venerable Connaught Hotel.

OMG.  Costs the earth and worth it.   And the linen, silver and china on which they serve their famous cuisine made the experience unforgettable.

Farther east now and on to Hong Kong.

And the grand Peninsula Hotel.

So expensive that even I was afraid to order their room service.  However one November afternoon, my doorbell rang and in came two waiters rolling a silver cart proudly bearing a beautiful chocolate cake.

I had seen the exact same cake in the hotel shop.  It was like $40.

I panicked.

“I didn’t order this!  Who sent this?  I don’t want it.  Please take it away!”

Crest-fallen, the two waiters sadly rolled the cart out.  They looked so dejected that I almost felt sorry for them but I knew that I had done the right thing.

In fact, I was sure that a friend of mine, Skip- a notorious prankster- had sent the cake and then would have it charged to our room.

Whew!  Dodged that room service charge bullet.

A few days later when we checked out the desk clerk said, “I hear that you wouldn’t accept our birthday present.  We are so sorry.  Our cake is famous.’

“Birthday present?  But how did you know…”

Of course.  They had our passports.

Oh well.

And, while we were waiting for our plane to take off, a beaming flight attendant presented me with a bottle of Champagne.  It had a card with it.

“Since you didn’t want the cake, please accept this bottle of bubbly to celebrate your birthday.  Congratulations, The Peninsula Hotel.”

Wow! Airplane service.

Let me close by mentioning one final important point about how to get the most out of room service.  It was not on Mr. Nail’s list.

It’s not what you order that matters most, Mr. Nail.  It’s who you’re ordering room service with.

Sigh.

Now this is what I’m talking about.