This past Sunday my son Nick and I made a quick dash to Superdawg- the legendary drive-in at Milwaukee and Devon. It was snowy, windy and cold but who cares? The car hop was great and the Superburgers, Superdawgs, incredible fries, (my very favorite on the planet) bunch tamales and orange pop were their usual spectacular.
So far so good.
And, as we were driving home past Whole Foods, I asked Nick to make a pit stop. I wanted to buy soap.
Yeah, soap.
I never buy actual food at Whole Foods. Too exorbitant, their ready-to-eat stuff is too bland, the sandwiches are a disgrace (so thin my father would say the turkey was “photographed on the bread”) the place is always a zoo- a triumph of mass hypnosis marketing over common sense.
And they don’t have Seagram’s Diet Ginger Ale.
But I like Mrs. Meyer’s lavender soap and they do carry that.
So Nick obligingly pulled into the lot and reached for his phone to work/text/talk to his wife, Missy, in Cali and I ran in.
I grabbed four bars of soap, fought my way through the thick crowd of old yuppie shoppers and made my way to the express line.
The nice, young, smiling, courteous twenty-something cashier girl rang me up. My bill came to $23.99.
(Yeah, crazy, I know. I could have bought four bars of Ivory for like $.29 cents. Don’t razz me about it, Jimmy.)
And as the gal hit her register to total it up, I simultaneously handed her a twenty and a five.
In cash.
She look startled. And then lost. She had fully expected a credit card, I think, and my cash offering didn’t compute. She just stood there. Staring at me.
Finally, I gently pushed the money at her and said, “A dollar one back, please.”
Nothing. No response. She had turned to stone.
“I think you owe me a dollar and a penny back, ” I (very) gently repeated.
Nada. No action. Nothing. Except now the poor girl was looking completely panic- stricken.
She couldn’t override her register and she couldn’t do the math in her head.
Euclid/ Newton/Einstein Sidebar: I am an imbecile when it comes to higher mathematics myself. I can get thrown by a twenty per cent tip calculation if the total is an odd number. See Story Problem if you, too, suck at math.
But, come on. $25- $23.99? Even I could figure it out.
But this woman was lost.
So she turned to the male cashier next to her (around her same age, early twenties) and said, “Her bill was $23.99 and she paid me $25. How much change do I give her?”
He, too, was dumbstruck. Could NOT do the math. And neither one was listening to me.
Finally he handed her a calculator and she punched the keys.
This whole deal was holding up the express line btw, but my New Year’s resolution was to be more patient and so I waited- with what I hoped was a very non-judgmental look on my face.
Finally, she handed over the dollar and the penny.
And she apologized.
“I just didn’t want to give you the wrong change,” she said anxiously. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s ok,” I told her. “I knew what you were trying to do.”
And I took my soap and walked back to the car.
But I haven’t been able to forget about it.
Two seemingly intelligent, hard-working, conscientious young people could not subtract $23.99 from $25 without a calculator.
We’re in big trouble, America.
We might make the world’s greatest fries but our education system seems to have completely failed our younger generation.
WTF?
Let’s talk about it.
At Superdawg.
It is amazing. So many younger people can’t spell either. Fortunately I can still do the captcha. Let’s call the ” whole” thing off.
How can we expect to be leaders in the world when we are being outdistanced badly on the education front? And you’re right. I didn’t even think about literacy and spelling. Sad -and disturbing. But I’m glad you can do the captcha – and spell, too. Thanks for ringing in here, ML. Not funny today but a wake-up call.
I hope you keep that soap you just bought in your Hermes purses!!! The only thing I don’t like about Whole Foods is that you feel guilty if you don’t walk out of there with something having Kale in it. Don’t they know about Superdawgs’ nutritional value? On another note, your commentary about Superdawgs reminded me that the last of a great tradition on the North shore came to a halt this weekend. My friend, Glen, who owns the Marathon station next to Homers Ice Cream closed his gas pumps last Saturday. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal except his was the last station to have full service (at no extra charge) for ALL gas customers. In fact, when they were done pumping your gas, cleaning your windows, and taking your credit card (or cash – they could add and subtract), they then offered you your choice of candy from a large selection. Give me that indulgence over some fancy soap or Hermes item anytime. Yes, the old times of Superdawgs and full service gas stations were great. The only thing I don’t miss are those people who still pay with cash and hold up the lines. Besides, don’t they want points to fly with???
No, I keep the soap in a wall safe. (And when did kale become the new must-eat food item? I’m not sure but it’s a safe bet that it started in California.) My condolences on Glen’s, btw. I hate to see another “mom and pop” place close. Sad. But thank goodness we will always have Homers. Re points- who flies commercial?
Sorry, but I have to put my unsolicited, political, two cents into this one.
Your story about not being able to figure an easy math problem like the one described, is just another example of why and how the current administration in The White House was elected and why he so loved by so many. Sad……….
P.S. Best hot dog ever?? Carl’s at 83rd and Jefferey.
You can always put your two cents in, Bernie. Our public school system is broken- over-crowding, underfunding all sorts of problems. We’re going to have to fix this and soon.
Best hot dog ever? Big statement.
Amen to that sister. If you want a great soap, I use one my mother introduced to me 75 years ago. It’s called Maja and you can get it online or at Marshal Fields. Oops,forgot, I guess Macy’s. Wonderful fragrance. Stay warm. Allan
That soap sounds yummy. Yep no more Marshall Fields. How sad is that? Thanks for the beauty tip. You stay warm, too.
The soap (was it an ugly shade of black?) must be an awful waste of money, the ignorance of basic arithmetic is even worse. I do not care for Whole Foods and their overpriced and not necessary organic foods.
No, Herbie, it’s lavender. But I know about that black soap you mention. Even more astronomical in price than Mrs. Meyers. We are headed the way of the Roman Empire for sure.
Good thing they didn’t want to post on your blog – the math problem above would have stumped both of them.
It’s amazing how students are allowed to opt out of taking math classes during high school. Many take only the required classes and that’s it. I’m funding a scholarship at my former high school, along with my favorite math/science teacher. To be eligible for the scholarship, you must enroll in 4 years of math and science classes. Maybe it keeps a few kids engaged in math classes – hope so.
As far as Whole Foods, I was a big fan when they opened in the Roaring Fork Valley. But my favorite part was the bakery, and since that’s now off the “diet plan” I find fewer and fewer reasons to go. But oh those croissants – like butter (or as the say on “Coffee Talk” – Buttah)! Unfortunately, that’s also where they reside on your body. So the love affair with Whole Foods is over.
Now here’s a man with a plan! That’s so great, Kev. A perfect way to make something positive happen for some deserving kids-and the good old USA. Really neat.
Your love affair with WF (note there’s a missing “T” -especially when you see the register total) may be over, but mine re you lingers on. Thanks and Go Broncos!
I’m a Pre Provence, Verbeina scent man myself. I will admit that the 250g bar is a bit clumsy until you’ve used it for a week or so. Oh yes, we were supposed to talk about the US educational system. I’d generally prefer not to think about our dumbed down society, let alone that we allow them all to vote.
Another soap recommendation! It sounds yummy and I can see that I should have just written about bath products. And yes, that voting thing is a scary thought. But then so are our choices. Politics just doesn’t seem to get the caliber of public servant that it used to. Thanks, Gary. Tell Tommy that Aunt Ellen says “woof.”