Her Honor

Cher. Diana. Fergie. Madonna.  There are women who are instantly recognizable by one name only.  I want to add another to the list: Lili Ann.

(Okay, technically that’s two names, but I vaguely recall her telling me that it was originally “Lillian” and she had restyled it to make it her very own.)

I first met her in the mid seventies.  It was a brief encounter, just two ships passing in the night.  But we re-met in 1981 at our daughters’ morning nursery school class.  We were carrying the same purse- different color- and this time, the coincidence sparked a conversation and we bonded over the crayons.

(Sidebar:  Lil and I had both purchased that bag at a now-defunct store on Michigan Avenue called Stanley Korshak and Company.  How I loved that emporium.  I wrote it so many checks that finally, my ex’s accountant took him aside and asked,”Who is this guy Stanley Korshak and why is your wife giving him so much money?”  The wonderful sales ladies who worked there were my style gurus, in-house best friends, and even ski instructors.  Before my very first time on a Colorado ski slope, I asked dear Hope Rudnick-who had a second home out there- to show me how to get up after a fall.  She had me lay down on the store floor and gave me some pithy pointers about how to regain my equilibrium.  Finally she said, “Just don’t fall.”  Darling Hope is gone now.  I still can’t believe it.)

Back to Lili.  Instantly she swept me up in her wake.  I was showered with phone calls and invitations.  She immediately and enthusiastically introduced me to many of her friends, and eagerly involved me in some of her charity work as well.

Never had I known such a rush of unselfish good-hearted attention.  Sorry to say, my experience with women had been, shall we say, not always so positive, and I usually gave them a wide berth.  When Lil and I met up again, my children were three and one, and my ex’s sixteen year old daughter had moved in with us the year before.  I was busy sure, but I hadn’t had a real girlfriend in years.  I was ready, willing and able to welcome her into my life.

She introduced me to so many wonderful people, places and things.

The very first invitation we accepted was for her son, Zachary’s second birthday.  I say “we” because this was a co-ed affair involving mothers and fathers alike.  Unusual for a dad to be included but that was only the first clue we had that this birthday party was going to be a horse of a different color.

When we got to the house, we were startled to find a lavish soiree awash in great music, bedecked in flowers, and featuring a very posh crowd enjoying very adult cocktails and scrumptious food.  Lots of beautiful A-listers made an appearance- society hairdressers, interior designers, and other bold face names that I recognized from the gossip columns.

And there was a zoo.  Lilli Ann had hired an entire menagerie of animals to amuse the toddlers and their parents alike.  Not your just your garden variety bunnies and kitties.  I remember a llama and a giant hawk.

(This was my first formal visit to the house.  And over the years I got to watch it evolve. Lil had married a builder who was constantly remodeling it.  That house underwent so many transformations that the only thing that remained unchanged was the address.)

But as remarkable as that party was, it was a perfect extension of her personality.  Fun, generous, exciting, unforgettable.  Just like this green-eyed blonde, our local version of the legendary Dinah Shore- the hostess with the mostest.

Lil entertained in such high style because her life was filled to the brim with friends.  She had made friends in grammar school, sleepaway camp, high school and college.  And kept in touch with all of them.  Never have I known anyone with more real long-standing friendships.

I used to kiddingly call her “The Mayor.”   And trust me, if she chose to run for that office, Rahm Emanuel would have his hands full.

Lucky for him, she was always too busy to campaign.  Proud mother of three, now devoted grandmother of two darling girls, the sparkle in her eyes when she showed me their latest pictures (at my request) was only matched by the sparkles on her iPhone.

Retail was in her blood and her birthright.  Daughter of a Chicago legend, Morrie Mages, Lil also acted as sportswear buyer for the old store and opened another store of her own. But she still managed to make time to do some important work for mankind, as well.

After her dear friend tragically died of breast cancer at thirty-nine, Lili Ann was part of the inner circle of friends that spearheaded the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation- now affiliated with Northwestern Memorial Hospital.  I had the honor and privilege of serving as its very first publicity chairman.

And then there’s her work with WITS.  That acronym stands for “Working in the Schools,” and for many years, she has been a hands-on member of that vitally- important organization that helps kids learn to read.  (I’m all for that. You can never have too many future subscribers, you know.)

She happily introduced me to some gals who are still my dear friends today.  And she and her husband, Ricky, gave us a most precious gift- Snowmass, Colorado.  It was on a Casimir Pulaski school holiday trip that we first visited her family out there, and for my son, the snowboarder, and his ski bunny mom, it was love at first sight.  Thank you for that intro, too, Lil.

And thanks for hanging in there with me.  She never gave up on me- even after I had given up on myself.  It’s fitting that the very first comment of love and support on this blog came from Lili Ann.  I’m proud to call myself her friend.

Long before there was Facebook, there was Lili Ann’s enormous social network of cronies, pals, buddies, chums, fans, sidekicks, playmates, colleagues, and BFFs.

And she has never unfriended a single one.