Kind Sir

Hello Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea.  Now coming aboard, Mr. William Zwecker- gossip columnist, television commentator, film critic, and gent.  This old-fashioned term doesn’t get used very much any more.  It signifies a certain type of guy.  A class act.  A white knight.  Old school, thoughtful, elegant, witty, debonair.  A boulevardier.  A man about town.

In other words, our own darling BZ.  If you look up “Bill Zwecker” in the etiquette book, there he’d be- black tied, all gussied up for some society event or film premiere, smile on his face and rarin’ to go.

I can’t quite remember how or when we first met but it’s a pretty safe bet that Martin Gapshis was behind the scenes.  Dearest Martin, who passed away much too soon in 2010 and was always involved when best-friends-to-be met.

Sidebar: For those of you who never had the privilege of meeting him, Martin was simply the greatest.  He was the Will Rogers of printers.  Blessed (and cursed) with a zillion friends, he never met a good cause he didn’t like.  He probably printed up three quarters of all Chicago society charity invitations.  I bet you asked him to do yours.  (And I bet he did it for free, right?)

No guy I ever knew was more generous with his time and talents, had more friends or loved playing matchmaker so that his old ones might get to know his new ones.  Remember the old Girl Scout song “Make new friends but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold?”  That was his credo.  And if all friends can be divided into precious metal categories, Martin was solid platinum.

So I’m pretty sure that Martin introduced us. Bill and I both traveled the charity circuit here in Chicago. We were on the boards of several and we both went out a lot. (To keep up with our social whirl, my then husband had five tuxedos.  He used to say that if his business failed he could always make a living as a magician- or a maitre’ d.)  And Bill and I are both writers.  So not only did our paths converge, but our spirits did as well.  We always had fun whenever and wherever we met.  With one notable exception.

I remember one incident where I had fun but poor Bill was clearly sweating it.  He had just landed a brand new gig as a television talk show host for Group W.  And he kindly asked me to be on the panel of his debut show. At the appointed day and time, I showed up at the studio, camera-ready and ready to go.  I wasn’t quite sure what the day’s topic was going to have to be but I knew that Bill would fill me in when I got there.  I wasn’t worried.

But instead of the usual cool, calm, smiling presence I expected to find, I was greeted by a BZ in a full-blown panic attack.

“My other guest for the hour is a plastic surgeon,” he moaned. “I thought that because you’re always so funny on the topic that the two of you would have some really good give- and-take.  But he just got paged.  There was an emergency post op with one of his patients and she’s bleeding or something and he’s left the studio. He’s GONE!  What are we going to do?  I have a whole hour to fill!  This is my first show.  It has to be good.” He was clearly terrified at the prospect of an one-man guest panel.

“Don’t worry. I can handle the hour easily,” I assured him.  “We’ll have fun.”

Bill quickly recovered his usual sang froid and did a masterful job as we talked about my adventures at the Trivia Bowl, among other things.  The hour flew by.  And he wasn’t faced with the embarrassment of “dead air” and he’s still on television to this day- as film critic and entertainment reporter at Fox 32.  So all’s well that ended well.  (And that plastic surgeon’s bleeding patient?  I bet she’s had her second or third procedure by now- so everything’s jake with her, too.)

Bill came by his calling the old-fashioned way.  It’s in his DNA.  Many of us remember when another Zwecker had a byline- his mother, the celebrated Peg.  She was the fashion editor for the Chicago Daily News and the Sun Times and I enjoyed reading her for many years.

Bill grew up in Oak Park and River Forest before he headed for Princeton.  He went on to the University of Chicago business school- which probably comes in handy now that baby billionaires and business superstars are as apt to make the gossips columns as film stars these days.

He shares his busy life with his partner Tom but he always manages to find a moment- as he jets from coast to coast- to drop me an encouraging email or an insider “scoop” from the latest and hottest red carpet or movie premiere.  He even manages to make time in his hectic schedule to post a comment or two on this blog.  Talk about your busman’s holiday.

How kind.  How thoughtful.  How generous.  But that’s our Bill Zwecker all over.

News Flash : Attention, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea.  An officer and a gentleman is now coming aboard.  Every society dame, charity do-gooder, movie star, publicity flak and gala giver in Chicago- and across the USA- salutes you.  We owe you a debt of gratitude for the great way you’ve handled all of us over the years.  It’s been the kid glove treatment all the way.  Pure velvet.

So Happy Valentine’s day, dear BZ- from all of us.  And no need for thanks.  This one’s on me.  But let’s do that lunch.  At RL.  Soon.

On you.