Modern Family

Author’s Note:  I want to start this post by saying thanks.  Thank you ALL for making my birthday on Friday absolutely wonderful.

It was filled with surprises.  I heard from old friends, new friends, and long lost former Trivia Bowl teammates.

And I was touched and amused by the outpouring of support, clever quips, funny emails, roses, Chuckles, tribute puzzles, a stylish “(No) Sex and The City” lunch at RL, a yummy, yummy dinner, a museum opening, great gifts, and enough flattering Audrey Hepburn references and glasses of Prosecco to make my head do the butterfly.

You all worked so hard to make November fourteenth special enough to last the whole year long.

And so with terrific birthdays on my radar screen, let me take you back to another very special birthday of long ago.

Once upon a time…

That’s my son Nick- then aged fourteen- pictured in the photograph above.  He’s sitting with Buck, a very famous television dog, in a very famous kitchen.

That’s because he’s in the home of Al and Peg Bundy of Married…With Children.

Here’s how he got there.

In 1993 I got a call from my very dear friend, Joan Himmel Freeman.  At that time she was chairman of the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation.

“What would you like to see in this year’s auction, Ellen?” she asked.  “We’ve already fulfilled your fantasies to visit Saturday Night Live and L.A. Law.  So name another show. Your requests are my personal challenge.”

“There’s only one set I still want to visit,” I replied.  “Married…With Children.”

“We must have a bad connection,” she laughed.  “I thought I heard you say ‘Married… With Children.'”

“I did say it.  It’s the Fox comedy where the lead characters, Al and Peggy Bundy hate their lives, their kids and their neighbors.  Everyone continually insults one and other, and it has no redeeming social value whatsoever.  That one.”

“Um, are you sure you want to pay good money for that?” Joan asked delicately.  “I can get you a visit to a Julia Roberts movie set or…”

“It’s going to be a birthday present for Nick.  You know he’s going to be fourteen and he is the show’s biggest fan.”

“That explains it,” she sighed.  “I’ll see what I can do.”

Joan worked her usual miracles, I bid on the trip and won it in the annual charity auction, and at the end of March, we all flew out to Los Angeles to watch a taping of the show.

The only snag- Nick protested vehemently about wearing a jacket and tie to the proceedings.  But I prevailed.  (And all these years later, as I look at the photographs, I am so glad I insisted.)

Once on the Fox lot, we checked in with a guy holding a clipboard.  He waved us on to  a sound stage.  Immediately a look of pure rapture swept over my son’s face.  “I’ve spent a lot of time in this kitchen,” he breathed, mesmerized by the sight of the Bundy house to his left.

Sure enough there was the famous Bundy kitchen- fake pine-panelled cabinets and empty refrigerator.  (Peg never, ever cooked.)

Center stage was the living room set- with the sacrosanct Bundy couch directly in the middle of it.

The taping audience filed in, and we were warmed up by a pro comic who got a lot of laughs with his schtick from the very excited audience.  (Although not as a big a laugh as the moron in the audience who asked, “Is this a rerun?”)

And then we all settled in for the next hour and a half and watched, laughed, re-laughed, and applauded as the very talented cast worked hard to make comedy look easy.

When the last scene was shot, and the cast had taken its final curtain call, we went over to meet Nick’s hero- the actor who played Al Bundy (and now does such a great job on Modern Family) Ed O’Neill.

This was Nick’s special moment, and Ed seemed to realize it.  Even though he was probably exhausted, he graciously chatted and posed for pictures with my awestruck son.

(That white stripe you see on Nick’s forehead is not some photo glitch.  He and I had spend the entire month of March (long boarding school vacation) snowboarding and skiing in Snowmass, and that was his tan line from wearing his ski hat.  And that’s Bill partly peeping over my shoulder.  I cropped him out with my iPhone for this photo. Very post modern divorce.)

There were many other fans waiting patiently to meet their hero, so after awhile, Mr. O’Neill moved on.

Yours truly got to pose with Ted McGinley- the handsome hunk who played the neighbor Jefferson on the show.  (I loved him in Revenge of the Nerds.  That was my jam.)

And I must report, that although the show portrayed the average American family as dumb and loutish, everyone connected with Married…With Children- from its creator, Richard Gurman to the entire cast and crew- was kind, clever and very invested in making the Ross family have a great time.

(Except Christina Applegate.  She was a diva.  But so what?)

My son was in Fox TV heaven.  And before the the glow of his close encounter with Al Bundy could fade, Don- the show’s able production assistant- had another photo op in mind for him.

This time Nick got to pose with Sandra Taylor, the actress who played Naomi, one of the Victoria’s Secret models featured in the episode.  In real life, she was a Playboy Playmate- gorgeous and well…you see for yourself.

It was the first time EVER that Nick posed for a picture without whining.

(If you were a fourteen old boy, wouldn’t you?)

Now here’s the show that we saw.

Enjoy the day with your modern family.

And thanks, darling Joan, for the birthday memories.

Old and new.