Rear View Mirror

(Photograph by Linda Schwartz)

This photograph was taken on October 12, 1990.  In case you don’t recognize us, that’s Nick Ross age 10 on the left, Natasha Ross age twelve on the right and Ellen Ross age none of your business in the middle.

We’re dressed all in black because our lifestyle/design mentor, Bruce Gregga, insisted that we take a family portrait à la his mentor, Victor Skrebneski. 

Hence the car burglar getups.

But I booked the photo shoot with fabulous Chicago photographer Linda Schwartz instead of Victor.

(Victor didn’t have the time and I didn’t have the money because BG had taken ALL of ours.)

Actually, I really don’t remember why I was in black.  I wasn’t going to be photographed at all.  These photos were supposed to be a surprise Christmas present for their father. We had just done over his study and in a flash of inspiration, I had decided to deck his walls with pictures of the kids.

So on the Columbus Day school holiday, I piled them protesting and whining and bickering and carping into the car and we drove to Linda’s townhouse studio.

I well remember the fight over the radio.  I lost.  And had to listen to the soothing strains of MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice all the way from Winnetka to Lincoln Park.

Hey, why should I suffer alone?

The shoot itself was a little hectic.  Neither kid wanted to stand still and pose.  They were both distracted by Ruby, Linda’s cute Bichon Frisé puppy.  Natasha was drawn to the antique hat collection.  Nick wanted to play on the nifty iron staircase.

When Linda would say, “Smile,” Nick would contort his face into a grimace and Natasha simply looked into the lens and glared.

And the end of two hours, I was defeated and pessimistic.

But Linda was reassuring.

“I think we got some good stuff here,” she said smiling as she led a shell-shocked me to the door.  “Honest.  I think you’re going to be pleased.”

About a month later, the finished product arrived. A dozen stunning black and white photographs, handsomely bleed-mounted directly onto box frames.

They were fabulous and they looked terrific on Bill’s wall.

This last picture was kind of an impulse thing.

Linda asked me to get into camera range and then told us all to turn around.

We did.

And this effort- number thirteen- was done in sepia and shipped out to our Colorado house.

These days I have it with me on the wall of my bedroom.  I look at it every day.

I love Natasha’s darling ballerina bun head. And I love how Nick’s left pants’ cuff has come unrolled.  And I love how he’s holding my hand. (This, by the way, was the last time he was ever shorter than me.)

But what I love the most is the fact that we are frozen in time.  I’m young(er), happy- and this might be my best angle.

The kids were captured before they grew up, moved away, had children of their own.

But every day I am reminded that one can only stop time in a photograph.

LIfe has a way of moving us on- like it or not.

Sometimes I don’t like it.

And sometimes…

It’s as sweet as honey.

(Photograph by Natasha Tofias)

Here’s not looking at you, kids.

With much love from Sam and Gran.